Birth Order of Children

My mom sent this to me a few months ago and I thought that it was soooooooooo funny (and somewhat true!).  I know there are a lot of moms (and moms-to-be) that read this blog.  I thought you all would get a laugh out of this, too...

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

             1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as 

                  your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.    

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. 

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Preparing for the Birth: 

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last  

time, breathing didn't do a thing. 

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.. 

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The Layette: 

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and 

discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? 

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Worries: 

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, 

a frown--you pick up the baby 

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten 

to wake your firstborn. 

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to 

rewind the mechanical swing. 

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Pacifier: 

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until 

you can go home and wash and boil it. 

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it 

off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. 

______________________________________________________ 

Diapering: 

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, 

whether they need it or not. 

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed. 

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to 

complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. 

_______________________________________________________  

Activities 

1st baby:  You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, 

Baby Zoo, Baby Movies and Baby Story Hour. 

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.  

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners. 

______________________________________________________ 

Going Out: 

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, 

you call home five times. 

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to 

leave a number where you can be reached. 

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. 

______________________________________________________ 

At Home:  

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children 

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Swallowing Coins (a favorite): 

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays 

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass. 

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!