Today is The Day

What started out as excitement on Monday, has now turned into nervousness and fear by Friday. All week I looked forward to our ultrasound and appointment, but now that it's "the day," things have changed a little bit.

I'm scared of what is going to happen. I'm scared to know the unknown. I'm feeling the feelings of devastation before I even hear the verdict. I can feel the heaviness of having a life-long dream shattered in just one day - one appointment - one conversation.

As we go into this ultrasound and appointment, knowing that today is the day that we will determine if I can go ahead and try to deliver vaginally or if I will schedule another C-section, I'm trying to remind myself that I have done everything that I can to make a VBAC possible. Everything else is up to the doctor and up to God.

It's amazing to me to see my body progressing toward birth. Over the past couple weeks I have started having contractions, have started dilating and effacing some, and even lost my mucus plug (TMI!!). I share all that to show that my body knows no C-section. My body is preparing to deliver the way God made it to and it is beyond me why I can't go ahead and let nature do what nature does. But, I have faith that the medical professionals handling my health are going to make the best possible decision and that in the end we will still have achieved the ultimate goal: a healthy birth and a healthy baby.