Delicious Ambiguity

I must have a lot of blog stalkers who are afraid to comment! Either that or no one really cared enough to. :) I had 140 people read my last blog post and only five comments.

Anyway, I really appreciated all the comments and emails. - THANK YOU! I wasn't looking for anyone to tell us whether to find out or not. I guess I just wanted to know what other people have done and why, just in case someone had come up with a good reason why or why not, that we hadn't thought of.

Our final decision (which I'll get into later) was made last night around 11:30 at a very special time... Erik and I had been discussing names all night. We were sitting next to each other on the bed, he on his computer and me on mine. I was looking up names while he was taking care of emails and other medical school business. Suddenly the baby started kicking, so I asked Erik to put his hand on my tummy. He rolled his eyes and hesitantly did so because every other time the baby usually stops kicking as soon as he touches my belly. We sat there still for about a minute and then it happened! He felt our baby kick for the first time. I always love seeing Erik's face after he feels our babies kick for the first time. He's so sweet as he just smiles so big! It makes me happy.

During this happy moment, we decided together that we will wait to find out the gender of our baby. We have been leaning this way the whole pregnancy, but confirmed it after talking through all of the reasons others had suggested, and some of our own, too. We did not find out the gender with Maida and did with Skogen. I have to admit after doing it both ways, the surprise at the ultrasound just wasn't the same as in the delivery room (or in my case, the recovery room). Telling other people wasn't the same, either. There is just something about delivery day when everyone is waiting in suspense for the baby to get there and for you to come into the waiting room or call and announce, "It's a ____!" It's so intense and climactic. Everything builds and builds and builds and out comes the first best surprise - a healthy baby! Then comes the next best surprise - the gender! However, my deliveries, as some of you can relate, are not the climactic birth as most. I schedule the place, I schedule the day, I schedule the time. Erik and I pack the night before and show up at the front desk as if we're checking into a hotel. On schedule, just as planned, in a very routine procedure they remove the baby from my body and there it is, just as we had imagined - a baby. In my case, knowing the gender before just adds to the anticlimactic experience. Don't get me wrong, it's still exciting and it's still an amazing thing - pregnancy and birth - but, trust me, after having a VERY climactic, intense, dramatic birth the first time without knowing the gender - in my case it's better to wait than to know everything beforehand. That is my main reason for waiting - to create a climax in an anticlimactic story. :)

Another big reason for waiting is that we already have a boy and a girl. What do I need to plan for when I already have everything pink and everything blue?! I will agree with some of your comments, though, that it really helped me bond more before birth with knowing Skogen's gender and name. However, this is my third time around and I know a little bit more about bonding after the baby comes (skin-to-skin, keeping the baby with me at all times, breastfeeding right away...). As long as I don't end up under general anesthesia again, I don't think bonding will be a problem.

Thank you to everyone who gave input (in case you are curious, we had 14 people say to find out and 9 people said to wait). Our ultrasound is tonight at 8:00pm. Please pray that the baby is healthy and that he or she is growing properly. I get so so so so nervous around this time in the pregnancy that something is wrong, but I also know that God is good and that He knows us and our life and He won't give us anything we can't handle.